5 Easy Steps to Regain Resilience
Many of us are in search of a one-stop-shop to discover the key to happiness or the secret that solves all of life’s problems.
“In the middle of a difficulty lies opportunity.”
But what if I told you all the solutions to your problems are already within you, but years of outdated coping mechanisms have kept you from realizing it?
Since childhood, many of us have been developing ways to self-soothe in order to deal with the stress that surrounds us. We all usually turn to a combination of healthy and unhealthy habits. But our response to hard times has not only created coping skills that may not serve us, it’s shaped our perspective on life and the resilience we maintain to bounce back from its many twists and turns.
The magic solution isn’t, in fact, to obtain happiness, but to learn how to respond to life’s inevitable curve balls that keep us from seeing that happiness is all around us.
Here are 5 Easy Steps to Regaining Resilience to help you become mentally, physically, and emotionally strong just when you start to think you’re ready to throw in the towel.
Resilience is a Game Changer
Remember the time the kids wouldn’t stop playing with your last nerve, your boss seemed endlessly dissatisfied with your work, you were addicted to the mini candies hidden at the bottom of your desk, and your relationship was on the verge of total collapse? Now, remember the next morning you woke up, put on your favorite lipstick, smiled, and did it all over again? THAT is resilience.
For every time you didn’t run or crumble when the walls closed in on you-you were resilient.
Unfortunately, there are still moments we all simply...crack. But you don’t have to let stress get the best of you, again. I want you to be able to use these steps to regain resilience in order to use the stones life throws to build a castle fit for a queen or king with a heart of gold.
Step 1. Practice Acceptance to Reframe Negative Thoughts
Your brain works so hard to protect you, but left to its own devices can actually cripple your emotional responses.
Regaining resilience requires the re-working of your thought processes and the first step in doing so requires acceptance of what is. Acceptance is often perceived as passive and unbothered but it’s quite the opposite; the sooner you accept a traumatic situation has occurred (thus no longer in denial of the pain it's caused) you are proactively empowering and preparing yourself.
Accept that change is a part of living, and it sure is good to be alive!
Acceptance allows the heart and mind to not only be prepared but it saves you energy on wishing things were other than exactly how they are. There is no endless journey like the one in search of greener grass. Accept each moment for what it is and use it to create what you want. Don’t waste time, energy, and tears wondering “why me”. Instead, consider “I was chosen” to experience this circumstance and now I’m going to learn a valuable lesson that will improve my life from here on out.
Step 2. Cultivate Connections to See Past Yourself
It’s tempting to want to fold into a blanket of self-pity when things don’t go your way. To some degree, it’s necessary to coddle yourself. But staying in that place for too long will rob you of so many blessings, the most important of which is love!
In order to be an active participant in regaining resilience, you have to reach out beyond yourself and your own troubles. You know that warm feeling you get when you have given a loved one the gift they’ve always wanted? Imagine filling your heart with that same giving love exactly when you need it the most? By seeking out deep and meaningful connections with family, friends and most importantly, yourself, you realize your place among the beautiful people in your life. Their happiness is your own and take a moment to get inspired by what they’ve overcome.
Though it may seem tough to see the other side of the mountain, no situation or crisis is insurmountable when you are surrounded and supported by people who will help carry you through it all.
Step 3. Tune into Your Moral Compass
“Squeeze an orange and you’ll find what’s inside”- the same is true of your own life. Nothing like a really challenging time to discover what you’re made of.
So, what are you made of? Are you waiting for a crisis to find out? Tune into your moral compass to help guide you through the unexpected.
When you remain grounded with a strong sense of self (beliefs, faith, moral code), hard times are seen with a soft lens allowing your beliefs to remain congruent with your behavior. Take the time to fine-tune your moral compass as you develop your resilience because it will be used as your map leading you out of hard places and challenging times.
Step 4. Prioritize Your Physical and Mental Well-Being
Stress is often the result of poor coping skills and stress makes you sick. It will be impossible to strengthen mind and spirit while ignoring its temple. This includes a nurturing diet, exercise, and positive mental stimulation.
Balanced nutrition aids in maintaining balanced hormones and brain chemicals that can directly affect how we emotionally respond to adverse situations. All the steps to regaining resilience will improve your mental health but physical well-being and maintenance have a direct physiological connection. Boosting your physical and mental health will be the cornerstone from which all other steps are built. You can do this by making meditation or prayer, exercise, and journaling a part of your daily self-care regimen.
Step 5. Find a Resilient Role Model
Role models are incredibly important to have in our lives. Read or watch an interview with a successful athlete, movie star, or artist- they often speak of not being able to have accomplished what they have had it not been for their role models and mentors. In the hardest of times, when regaining resilience feels impossible, find someone who has demonstrated strength in the areas you struggle most.
And lastly, congratulate yourself on choosing to be an active participant in regaining your resilience in the wake of an ever-changing, unpredictable, yet beautifully rewarding life!